'I was fearful of getting it wrong or of making the wrong decision'
Clive’s story | The one verse that made all the difference
“I was at Bible College in 2002 and we were all asked to stand up and pray, to ask God what he wanted to reveal to us, about something we each needed to deal with.”
“I stood there and I prayed, but my mind kept coming up with different things – perhaps God wanted me to deal with this, or perhaps God wanted me to deal with that. I couldn’t decide. That’s when God revealed to me that, underneath, I had a double-mindedness that was rooted in fear.
“I was fearful of getting it wrong, or of making the wrong decision, or of failing … As a result, I’d often go back on decisions that I’d made, or I’d doubt myself and feel trepidation (even when I knew God had clearly led me to do something). It wasn’t helpful! But then that day, as I prayed, God gave me the verse in 2 Timothy 1:7 – ‘For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.’ It really helped me.
“I realised that if I’ve been made in the image of God, and been given the Holy Spirit … then I have the ability to step into a situation and trust God’s leading. If God has given me a spirit of wisdom and love … then I don’t need to feel that much fear.
“Not long after that, I met someone very special. We went out for a while, and I felt God put it on my heart to propose to her. I was driving to pick her up, and in the past, I would have needed to call my pastor or my family (to check whether it was a good idea, or not) … but I didn’t.
“I just picked her up and I asked her to marry me, and she said ‘yes!’”