Responding to all the lonely people

Eighty-year-old Canberra resident and enthusiastic volunteer Dot Mills doesn’t have a problem with loneliness, but over the years she’s known plenty of people who have.

From her former elderly neighbour who lived alone and waited on Meals on Wheels each weekday, to others in her neighbourhood who’ve become isolated from the community, Mills’ recognises that loneliness comes in all shapes and sizes.

The loss of a partner or an inability to connect with others through groups or organisations are two of the main contributors to loneliness in Mills’ opinion, but she believes it’s a problem which can be overcome.

Despite being a widow herself, Mills is too active helping others to feel lonely. She defies the statistics in a study by The Australia Institute which reveals that people living in lone-person and lone-parent households are almost twice as likely to experience loneliness as people living in couple households.

That could be partly because of her firm commitment to volunteer work, which the study entitled All the lonely people: Loneliness in Australia 2001-2009 recommended as an important factor in engagement with the wider community and alleviating loneliness.

For Mills it was a desire to keep a friend company at Baptist Community Services (BCS) Morling Lodge in Red Hill which led her to start volunteering over 15 years ago. She spent so much time at the nursing home that the activities organiser asked her to volunteer and she hasn’t looked back.

Since then Mills has spent almost a day every week at the nursing home leading residents in their regular Bocce games, organising trivia games, and assisting staff to serve lunch to the residents. She also tries to make time to chat to the residents, who clearly enjoy her visits.

“A lot of them I’ve known for years and years,” says Mills who recently won a Highly Commended Award in the Community Services category of the 2012 ACT Volunteer for the Year Awards. “I love going over there.”

Mills’ zest for community engagement contrasts with a grim picture of widespread loneliness in the findings of The Australia Institute study, which was released in June. The report reveals that three in 10 Australians experienced loneliness in the 2001-2009 period and that the number of people moving in and out of loneliness is increasing.

The report’s author, David Baker, said that more Australians are experiencing loneliness now than in the early 2000s.

“Our study found that loneliness is higher amongst men (36%) than women (29%). Surprisingly couples with children were lonelier than couples without children. The lifestyle change that occurs for many new parents appears to loosen the connections they have with their pre-existing social networks,” says Baker.

“The Australian Bureau of Statistics predicts that within 20 years the number of people living alone is expected to increase from around two million people (in 2009) up to 3.1 million,” states the study.

Growing use of social media is apparently doing little to relieve the situation, with the report finding mixed results in this area. It found that lonely users reported having fewer Facebook ‘friends’ and were less likely to count them as real friends. However, they were more likely to say that Facebook helps them to connect with family and existing friends.

The concerns about the level of loneliness in Australia highlighted in the report are shared by Christian organisations working in the social welfare field.

“In the wide range of services that we provide in the community loneliness is one of the pervading issues,” says Rev Dr Keith Garner, Superintendent of Sydney’s Wesley Mission.

“I think loneliness takes on different faces at different times. We have more people living alone, more people struggling in families alone,” he says. “Many young people today grow up with a sense of isolation.”

The Salvation Army’s Eastern Territorial Chaplaincy Co-ordinator, Major Robin Pullen, says that loneliness is one of the major reasons people make contact with them.

“The need is great and I think loneliness is an area that is growing and I don’t think we address that really well. It is something that we encounter every day.

“It’s about feeling disconnected. As you age your networks break down and unless you’re willing to take action and join groups you can be lonely. Even with a young person who moves into a new community, it takes a long time to feel connected unless they join a group.”

Pullen says that Christians can help address the issue by being willing to reach out and make friends with other people.

“It’s about having an awareness of people around us and not always assuming that people have a network. It’s about being aware of your neighbour.”

Garner says that a sense of caring for people is at the heart of the Christian faith and means that Christians have an important part to play in addressing problems of loneliness.

“We have the ability to address one of the biggest social issues of our day,” says Garner. “One of the strengths the Christian community has is that it is able to recognise the strength of invitation and connection in the community.

“A community of Jesus Christ is a community that engages with people and invites them to be part of our lives.”